How many times have you stopped yourself from doing something just because you feared being negatively judged by others? All of us have done it. We suppress our thoughts or actions to dodge the possibilities of being negatively judged by others.
We want to please the world even if it costs us our happiness. But whatever you do or don’t do, you will be judged! That is a fact! To be honest, we all judge. Sometimes we know the person whom we are judging and sometimes we judge a complete stranger. And the same thing happens with us.
People who know us and people who are complete strangers to us, everybody judges you. So what is it that scares us? Being judged (positively or negatively) is not in our hands. What is in our hand, is that we do not fear their judgement. As it is a kind of invisible trap which acts as a barrier between you and your true happiness.
Here are 5 ways to be you even when people are judging you:
1. Believe that it is temporary
In our life we may have a one odd incident which attracted a lot of criticism and negative judgement from family and friends. But after few months hardly anybody must be remembering it. The human brain has a limited memory retention capacity.
Although people make judgments, they are not significant enough to earn a place in their memory reserve for eternity.
So when people makes a judgment about you, chances are that moments or days later that judgment must has left their awareness. So why to fear something that is so fragile and temporary.
2. It is unavoidable, So let them judge
We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. – Anais Nin
Think of the person who was wearing craziest outfit you’ve ever seen. And you wondered what the hell is wrong with that person?! Now you also know that there are people in the world who would think that it’s the most attractive clothing possible. It must be a fashion statement for few. So you realise your judgement was because of your thought process of how that person should not dress and it had nothing to do with the individual you were judging. This is exactly what happens when others judge you.
Can you stop somebody else’s mind to do its job? Fact of the matter is, you cannot stop your own mind to do it. Nobody consciously judges anybody. It is almost a reflex thing. So stop trying to control the judgments of others when you can’t control even yourself from judging others.
What you can do is, stop yourself from being vocal about your judgement of others, unless and until asked for it. And tell others also to mind their own business until asked for their intervention. Finally remember that judgement says more about the judge than what’s being judged.
3. Don’t judge yourself
Many times things are just in our head. We should understand that we are not ‘that’ important in everybody’s life. Yes people are judgmental but they also have other things to do. We fear of being judged and thus feel crushed.
Many times we ourselves are not confident about our actions and we judge our own decisions. And thus we feel the fear of judgement of the world.
Once you stop judging your decisions and become more confident, you will feel liberated. And the fear of others judgement will vanish too!
4. Explain others your motive but don’t seek their approval
This applies on people who are close to you and matter to you. Some of your decisions must not be appropriate as per your family members or friends. Because they are important to you, explain your motive and reason behind your action or decision.
Even if you explained thing to them, they may or may not like your decision. They may or may not continue to judge you. But if you are clear in your vision. If you know what you are doing is right and will make you happy, Just do it. Don’t seek everybody’s approval.
Its your life, it will be you who will be bearing the consequences.
5. Be Happy
I know it sounds cliche. But trust me, if you are happy in your life, people will be less critical of your decisions and actions. Your confidence and happiness will stop them from being negatively judging you. They will believe that if your action is bring you happiness, then those actions must be correct.
Moreover, if you are happy in your life, no fear can touch you and mar your confidence. Finally, remember that the judgement is never about you, it’s about the person judging you.
So next time you see someone doing something which according to you is ‘abnormal’ or uncommon, don’t stop your thought process at ‘that’s strange.’ Think beyond.
Be curious. Carve a space out in your world for this new information. If you’ll stop judging people, gradually you’ll free yourself from the fear of being judged.
Give freedom to other’s to be who they are, and you will receive abundant freedom in return.
You may also like to read Better Perspective on Life