The tongue is but a small, soft flesh. Yet it is capable of breaking the strongest bonds and destroying the most powerful of relationships – Yasir Qadhi
These ‘behind-the-back-talker’ species are found everywhere, school, college, workplace… just anywhere and everywhere. I have struggled with these kinds my entire teenage life and I can honestly say, I wish I hadn’t cared so much. It’s not worth it. Those who talk about others either have lot to hide about themselves or maybe there life is so boring that talking about others is the only source of entertainment available to them. So rather pity them!! They are taking time out of their pathetic lives to think about you! Don’t be surprised when the person talking bad about you is almost a stranger to you! People can be cruel when they are jealous.
It is rightly said that the only time people will dislike gossip is when you gossip about them!
In the workplace or in life in general, people talk behind other people’s back usually out of jealousy or because they want to appear better than the person they are talking about.
Other times maybe any of your action or decision has hurt them and they are simply venting it out. I believe they aren’t necessarily bad people; often times they are simply misguided and have not learned the basic skills of being able to coexist with other people.
They are usually dealing with their own insecurities and inferior complexes. So don’t worry about people who talk behind your back. It is mostly a reflection of how powerless they feel.
The best thing to do is simply ignore them! But if there are instances where you think it is important to deal with them.
Here is some guideline on How to Deal With People who Talk Behind Your Back
1. Consider the source Be sure about the credibility of the person who has informed you that somebody is cooking up stories about you. If you have faith in your source and the stories that are being spread about you are hard to ignore and they are snatching your peace of mind then you should confront the person talking behind your back.
2. Confront them It is important that you confront the person in a responsible and calm way or else situation will worsen. Ask them why they are doing it and that you don’t appreciate them talking about you behind your back, especially if it isn’t true. Not necessarily the person will stop talking behind your back but you confronting them will put you in control and even if they continue doing it, you have at least shown them that you are aware of it.
3. Don’t worry about it and move on Its easier said than done, but truly you can’t worry all the time. Life is short and some utterly random talk by some random people should not be any part of it.
Others talking about you is a part of growing up. Being mad initially is natural but after that pick yourself up and move on and think about something positive instead. Don’t sit around and focus on what is being said or you’ll drive yourself crazy and you’re not going to change anything.
4. Remember you are better than them Just because somebody has stooped down to a level to tarnish your image, you do not give in to the temptation of doing the same to them.
Humans have mastered the art of communication, not to spread hatred but to spread good wishes and love.
It’s an awesome virtue to restrain the tongue!! Before speaking, please make sure your tongue is connected to the brain.