Lying is a very natural, yet a dangerous occurrence. Unfortunately it is part of growing up, but parents and teachers need to be aware of their children’s lying habits to keep them safe.
So how do you know when your child is lying ? It is extremely important for a parent or a teacher to be able to decipher truth from the ‘invented stories’!
Here are 3 important signs for parents and teachers which will indicate a red flag to get more information out of the child who is lying. These clues mostly show up in people who are lying. The most important thing to remember is that one clue alone does not guarantee lying , you have to further talk to the child to know the truth.
1. Verbal Hint
- If there is a mismatch between gestures and words, lying or hidden emotions are most likely lurking. For example, if your teenager is talking about how angry he is about something, but his facial expression is one of sadness or neutrality, he is most likely forcing the emotion even though he does not feel it.
- Verbal hint can also show up as a delayed reaction to the emotion. He might say, “Yeah, I am angry about it,” pause and then display an angry expression. This is not genuine emotion because his words are not matching his expressions.
Also liars often use phrases like “to tell you the truth,” “to be honest,” and “why would I lie to you?” Another clue to pretence is when the child has answers that sound extremely rehearsed, even if it is about a casual event.
- There will be a pause before the answer when asked for details. It’s time for the teen to make something up.
2. Relief when Subject is Changed
- A liar almost always feels a great relief when the subject is changed and he might show this relief on his face or in his way of talking. If you are talking to your child about an issue you are suspicious of and then move on from the topic, notice their reaction. If they show great relief or a total change in behavior, they were most likely tense or hiding something.
3. Physical Clues
- If your child avoids looking at you when answering you or looks at you too long without blinking, this is an indication that he/she may be lying. People tend not to look at the person they are lying to in the eye when lying, unless they know this fact and then they tend to look at you for too long.
If you talk to your child or teen on a regular basis, you’ll see a deviation in how he/she behaves while communicating to you during a lie.
- People who are lying touch their face and mouth. This type of body language is something that happens often when someone is lying. It isn’t easy to pick up until you know to look for it.
Better Way To Catch A Lie
- Use an open-ended question that is not accusatory but alludes to a possible behavior: “Anything interesting happened at the party last night?”
- Ask their opinion on a similar example: “I would love your opinion on this. A friend of mine, recently found a lighter and a cigarette in her child’s jeans. She is not sure how to approach it or if it actually belonged to her child. What should she do?”
Final Thought: Parents should remember that the reasons that most children or teens lie are pretty basic: “to get away with things or to be able to do what they want, like going to parties or a night out.” A child or a teen lying is usually more obvious, and less contrived or sophisticated than adult lying. If you suspect that your child is lying, explore his or her behavior with them with questions. Try to differentiate the normal behavior of your teen from unusual or evasive behavior. But if you observe physical signs of deception, don’t accuse your teen of lying, because you don’t want to create a liar by putting your child in a position where they will not confide in you at all.
You may also like to read : 6 Most Common Reasons for Why do People Lie