“A good husband makes a good wife.” – John Florio
Husband was throwing knives on his wife’s picture; all were missing the target. Suddenly he received a call from her. “Hi, what are you doing?” His honest reply was – “Missing you dear!”
Marriage is about happiness, togetherness, love etc etc….But marriage is also about adjustments, compromises, responsibilities and fights! Every aspect has its own share in a marriage and that is what makes every marriage unique.
As marriage is between two human beings and to err is human! So we are bound to commit mistakes. Males and females are wired differently; their basic psychology makes them commit few actions that is hurtful to the other half.
I am no marriage counsellor but with my experience and that I see around me, I have realised that there are few actions taken by our dear husbands that are universal which hurt the wives to the core and good lord!! these guys have no idea about it!!
So here it goes:-
1. Not involving her in major decision makings: You cutting her out of the discussions or not taking her suggestions in any major decision making is hurtful to her. Maybe you think that she doesn’t understand the whole scenario, or maybe you simply do not want to burden her with the fuss.
But she would love to be a part of every bit of your life, your problems are not a burden to her. Even if she cannot offer you the best of the solutions, she will be an immense support to you!
2. Ignoring her efforts: Your wife maybe a working woman or a homemaker. In any scenario, she is putting a lot of effort in keeping your house tidy, ensuring that the kids are growing up to become good citizens, taking good care of her and your parents.
Even if you as husband are present for all these jobs, you know that she is more emotionally involved in it. Her family and house are closest to her heart and that is because she LOVES you! You are the reason for her attachment! So acknowledge her efforts, tell her VERBALLY!! She will love to hear it.
3. Make fun of her in social gatherings: Every time you have a good laugh at her cooking skills or at her knowledge about the global issues in a social gathering, you disrespect her.
Maybe she also laughs along with you on ‘herself’, but within her heart she has built a wall around. DO NOT DO IT! You can apprise her about all the shortcomings in private but a social gathering is no place for it.
4. Staring other females: She is fully aware of you seeing any other female on the road, in a grocery store, restaurant or just anywhere and every time. She knows that you are wired that way, you are inquisitive(or however male psychology justifies it!), but the problem arises when your seeing becomes a stare.
You truly hurt her. She gets insecure; she loses confidence in herself as well as in you. And never ever compare her with any other female (let it be your mom!). Wives do not consider it a healthy criticism.
5. Getting upset on her questions: If she asks you about your day, or why are you getting late to come home, or who were you talking on phone, it is not because she is suspicious of your actions. She asks because she is concerned.
She trusts you with her life. You getting upset on her questions only push her away from you.
Husbands (at least those whom I know) would never hurt their wives intentionally nor will the wives hurt their husbands. However, strong the lady maybe, her heart is tender for all those people she loves and husband is the first person in her priority list.
So if you hurt her, even unintentionally, she is bruised. You as her husband would never allow any other person to hurt her or disrespect her, then how can you yourself hurt her?