A man’s best fortune, or his worst, is his wife.
As I had written a blog on ‘5 Ways in Which Husbands Hurt their Wives Unintentionally’, this blog mentions the common mistakes committed by wives that hurt their husbands emotionally. Any marriage can flourish only when both husband and wife watch their actions and try not to hurt the other half intentionally or unintentionally.
Each person is different and so is every marriage, but most of us (wives) will find ourselves culprit of at least one of the following mistakes:
1. Compare your life with others : If you keep telling your husband about things, activities or comforts that other ladies have and you don’t; you are unintentionally blaming him.
It is rightly said that ‘The grass is always greener on the other side.’ Every family has its own story.
He will feel that all his efforts to keep you happy are not good enough. In your heart you are aware that your man is putting in a lot of efforts to make your life comfortable and happy. So never compare or complain him regarding all the comforts that other ladies are having and you don’t. You be by his side and watch him conquering the whole world for you.
2. Not Appreciating His Efforts : Men primarily hold themselves responsible for fulfilment of all the needs of his family and for that he really puts in lot of efforts. Many a times he has to bite his lips in front of his boss, so that he is not fired from his job. Many a times he is not feeling well but still goes to the office so that he works hard and get that raise and promotion that will make his family happy. If you do not appreciate his efforts (those you see and all those that are behind the curtain), you are not doing justice with him. Your few words of appreciation mean a lot to him. All of us need positive reinforcement.
3. Thinking that only Your Way is the Right Way : If he is helping you in a house chore like making bed or cleaning the dishes, do not stand and monitor him or tell him that whatever he is doing is not the right way. If you continue doing it, eventually he will stop helping you at all. On the other hand if you let him help you the way he wants to, he will feel more involved and will ultimately strengthen your bond.
4. Thinking that He is a Mind Reader : Once a man was talking to another man about women and this was the conversation
“You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are placed around your throat, she’s probably slightly upset”. Men are very bad at getting hints, even the most obvious ones! If there is something bothering you, may be his action, or something at your workplace, tell him verbally.
If you choose to be quiet and not tell him anything, even when he had asked you the reason many times, he will assume that he is responsible for your distress. Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute! So if it’s his action that has upset you, tell him and if it is something at the workplace then talking to him about it will help you release stress (if nothing else!).
5. Belittle him in front of others : We are all aware about the ‘Man’s Ego’ and every bit of it is true. You need not massage his ego but you should not hurt it. If you make fun of him or put him down in front of others, he will not take it. In fact it is true for any human in this world. Nobody likes to be criticised or judged, that too by somebody he loves, is really difficult to accept. In fact I am convinced that praising your spouse in public is one of the most important investments you can make. It will motivate him further.
It is the two people involved in the marriage who make it a beautiful journey. Keeping the relationship strong with your spouse can make all your heartaches and struggles of life a little more bearable. So work for it and it will be worth it!!