I am sure that most of the ladies would have caught their caring and doting husband/ boyfriends craning their head full circle (they almost look like an owl doing this!) to notice another woman.
This can happen anywhere; may be in the parking lot or in a cross walk or even a woman jogging in the park as you drive past. Your hubby’s head may turn before even his brain realizes. There are many questions that arise in my mind.
What do men get from checking other women out? Are they having sexual thoughts? Would they rather be with the other woman? Are they unhappy in their relationship?
So Lets see Why do Men stare Other Woman and how to deal with it.
The fact is. All men will look. Some will do it much more often than others. Some will glance, some will stare and some will ogle thinking that no one will notice (at least not their wife/girlfriend!). Men look at other women….sometimes attractive, sometimes average; it seems the only fact that they are ‘other’ women attracts our men to them.
Wanting the forbidden fruit goes pretty far back in human development, say the Eve story.
I am not trying to justify their act (I am seething with anger when I catch my husband checking out hotties!) but science has shown that it’s actually biologically based and evolutionarily practical. It is generally not based on infidelity or desire (good for them!). Most of them developed this habit of staring other females when they were teenagers and with time it became natural to them. Regardless of their relationship status, men get a chemical high in seeing other attractive women. This natural reward system is the main reason why they look at other women. It’s the most primitive species survival programming, and that programming hasn’t been updated for thousands of years (God are you listening?!!).
While it is true that checking out other women is not ‘cheating’, but it is also true that there is an adverse effect which is not beneficial to the relationship as you land up re-thinking about the trust factor. In such situations it is generally all the crazy thoughts that attack our mind and the fuming anger which hampers us to think rationally. In fact our reaction to the situation can have a huge impact on our relationship.
If you’re bothered that your partner is staring at other women, escalating your criticisms of his behaviour is probably not working. Also quietly fuming about it isn’t helpful to you or your relationship
Before imagining your husband/ boyfriend in the arms of another hottie, it is important to know following facts :-
1. The act of looking at another woman (irrespective of her beauty or vital stats) is not a demonstration of anything other than nature. Simply looking in no way reflects desire, intention, or dissatisfaction with the current partner. The biological essence of the whole situation is nothing!!
2. Every once in a while there is a person so beautiful or confident or well dressed that they will grab nearly everyone’s attention (even yours), so you should not be holding him by his neck for looking at that person.
3. We also must not deny that even women (irrespective of relationship status) look at other attractive men. As humans we do gravitate towards beauty. It is impossible not to. It is just that we are considerably more discreet while doing it!
4. If you question your partner about the act, they will most likely deny it, as quite often they probably haven’t even realized it themselves. And if they have, they will not want to admit it, as they know it will create needless insecurity. So avoid the whole episode as it is just a fleeting moment for them.
5. You should feel worthy within yourself and do not let jealously play the mind game with you. Comparing yourself to other woman can really be upsetting and damaging to your
self-esteem. It is not worth it. To feel insecure is human, but to hold sadness and hostility is unfair to you and the person you are with.
Following are the best possible ways to deal with the whole situation:-
1. Instead of pushing your man away when he looks, one way to bring your partner closer, is to appreciate the beauty with him.
Confidence is lot sexier than insecurity.
2. If you think that it’s a major problem, gently let them know, as they quite possibly have no idea that it was a problem and as they become more aware of what they’re doing they will likely stop. It will probably be an unconscious act and one that he will feel bad about when he realizes it has caused you insecurities.
3. Fear always attracts more fear so make sure that you approach any issues that make you feel awkward with a sense of calm when you feel it’s necessary to discuss this with your partner.
4. Triggers like jealousy are signals that there may be a problem elsewhere and this is just something that is highlighting it. So analyse the situation in whole.
However, if this is an issue in your relationship that continues to go unresolved and you constantly feel unheard, it may be time to seek a professional help. There is a difference between someone who is innocently admiring a stranger passing by, and someone who has a disrespectful pattern of constantly looking at other women or commenting on them, or putting you down. In the latter cases, this could certainly signify emotionally abusive behaviour and much greater problems in the relationship that needs to be addressed. It could be a huge relationship red flag.
Otherwise the most important thing to remember is while the eyes are built to wander, the hearts are geared to anchor.
Trust in the foundation that you have already built in your relationship. You are the one that he has chosen to spend his rest of life with!! Your relationship is rock strong and fleeting glances can do no harm to it!